Any which way a person of color chooses to call out racism on the internet or in real life is not really any of my business. There are lots of valid reasons a person might be forceful in their approach: because they need to vent, because they need to have their voice heard, because their anger is valid and yearns to be seen. If you’re calling out behaviors that directly affect your identity, you’re entitled to do that whichever way you want, and as a white person, I’m not here to minimize those feelings or attempt to tone police.
But when the issue at hand is one that doesn’t negatively affect your life in such a daily, personal way, like in the case of a white person pointing out racism, I’m of the opinion that we should approach a call-out quite differently. In this case, our main priority ought to be the most effective call-out possible, one in which a person’s analysis is advanced and their enthusiasm for justice is increased.
Nuanced side note: I do believe that as a white person, I am affected negatively by white supremacy. I believe that men suffer because of patriarchy. I believe that cis-people are also hampered by cisnormativity. But people with privilege are not negatively affected in the same ways as people those systems are set up against. Systems of oppression dehumanize us all, but they affect us differently, so our behavior needs to reflect those differences.
I see a lot of newly-awakened white people getting angry and impassioned about the racism of other “less woke” white people. It’s a typical stage of learning about racism as a white person to become zealous and, at times, self-righteous. (Find the essay From White Racist To White Anti-Racist from Tema Okun for more about these non-linear stages.) I understand that impulse deeply and have enacted myself it at times. I also see the very particular opportunity white people have to advance the cause of racial justice, and that opportunity requires us to temper our aggressive approach.
White people have a particular role to play in antiracism movements. We have an ability to be taken seriously where people of color are dismissed. We can be loud and pointed without being brushed off. The consequences for standing up against racism are typically less severe for white people. When we do this well, we can help to take some of the burden off people of color to always be the ones pushing back. When we do it poorly, we create more of a mess for them to clean up.
I’m writing this as a queer, genderqueer, currently-able-bodied, working-class white person. I’ve called out racism in ways that were sloppy and self-righteous. I’ve sought applause from people of color. I’ve wanted acknowledgment for my “wokeness.” I will continue to make mistakes.
I’ve also had some deeply transformative moments building analysis with other white people where we were both changed. I learned many of these strategies from the people who have skillfully called me in, both people of color and white folks. I’ve also learned from my experiences putting them into practice within my own family, friendships, and creative collaborations.
Here are some tips I’ve compiled for how to most effectively call out racism if you’re a white person. While this piece is addressed to white people from a fellow white person, the strategies herein could apply to anyone who is calling things out that aren’t about your identity (eg, a man calling out misogyny, etc.) This list is by no means exhaustive. I welcome feedback, suggestions and additions!
Check your intentions. Are you calling people out because you want to look like a good white person, or because you actually want to advance the cause of racial justice? This is so simple, and yet it’s so easy to forget. It’s one that I’m constantly checking myself on in advance of delivering any feedback about racism.
Orient yourself in relation to the power structure. If you’re a white person calling out white supremacy, name your whiteness. (As an example, I did this in the introduction.) I often see call-outs that don’t orient the writer in this way, and I feel lost as to how to interpret what I’m reading. Naming things in this way might seem superfluous, but it really matters. It shows that we have an understanding of systemic power structures and that you understand your place within them. It also sets an example for other white people of how to talk about whiteness in a helpful way.
Acknowledge that you are not perfect and that you have room to grow in these areas. The binary nature of systems of oppression has us believing that we have to be all good in order to not be rejected as all bad. One of the most helpful things we can do in calling out racism is to interrupt that false dichotomy and show that we are both trying hard to bring change and also complicit in enacting harm. No matter how long we’ve been “doing the work,” we will still always be benefitting from the system. (See introduction for example.)
Position yourself as a fellow learner instead of as an expert. We are not experts on issues we’re not oppressed by. As a white person, I will never be an expert on racism. Men will never be the experts on patriarchy. Acknowledging this fact is both truthful and strategic. Readers are much more likely to want to listen to you if they don’t feel condescended to.
Write or talk mostly in first-person pronouns. That is, talk in “I, me, us, we” statements instead of “yous” and “theys.”. It’s tempting to want to distance ourselves from racism as we call it out. It can feel satisfying to point out those other bad white people and position ourselves as better, further along, more evolved. But that falls into the trap of the false good/bad binary. Even when you’re calling out something that you didn’t personally participate in, we’re still complicit in white supremacy.
Bring as much love, patience and compassion as you can possibly muster to the conversation. People of color are allowed to use whatever language and emotion they want to their message about racism. But when we’re calling out something we don’t personally suffer from, it behooves us to be loving about it. There’s no need to coddle, but we can be strategic about what will be the most effective way to engage. I try to bring the kind of energy I’d want to be approached with when being called out for my own inevitable mistakes.
Ask yourself if the conversation would be more effective if held privately. If so, do that instead. If there is a person or an organization that is enacting harm, talk to them directly. Call them on the phone before you blast them on Twitter. Start with a call-in and not a call-out. When we have an urge begin with a public call out, it’s often motivated by our own desire to look knowledgeable or righteous on the issue, not by strategy.
Follow up with folks who dissent. Ask them if they want to talk more about it. Offer to DM or FaceTime with them. Sometimes people will be much more receptive to a conversation if there’s less of an audience for their mistakes. It can be so satisfying to really take someone down in a Facebook comment thread, but does that actually help convince them of your point?
Be willing to call out your own mistakes. It’s so very helpful to see someone else name the way they have screwed up or been racist, and to call themself on their own bad behavior. I try to do this anytime I get called out: I talk about it on social media, I write blog posts about it, I bring it up in conversation with my friends. It normalizes our ability to make a racist mistake and to recover from it, to repair harm, to be willing to grow. We need more examples of this done with self-love and without groveling, but with true accountability.
Expect that you will have some haters regardless. No matter how lovingly you formulate your message, there will be some folks who disagree. Don’t take it personally, and don’t let the seeming failure prevent you from interrupting harms in the future.
Remember that change often happens inside relationships. Around the time of the last presidential election, I saw lots of calls for radical people to stop being friends with Trump voters, and while I understand the sentiment, I think the approach is short-sighted. We have to be willing to engage people in long-term ways if we hope to help them change their minds. With your conservative parents, with your centrist friends, with apolitical coworkers, the relationship has to stay relatively in tact if you expect for them to engage with you about politics. This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t have boundaries, and it definitely doesn’t mean you should let them get away with any true fuckery, but it does mean that a willingness to stay connected despite differences is very useful. How likely are they to listen to a person of color about racism? If all the white people banish them, how will they ever change?
Plant seeds even if you don’t ever get to see them bloom. Change takes time. Not everyone will have an epiphany from one well thought out Instagram caption. Be willing to keep doing the work even if you see few results. Keep showing up for justice. This work is worth it.